Many Christians struggle with same sex attraction and want to be free from it. Here are some things that can help!
1. Temptation isn’t sin.
Jesus was tempted in all points like we are, yet without sin (Hebrews 4:15).
There is no temptation that has taken you, but such as is common to man… way to escape (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Having thoughts of attraction does not mean you are giving in. As someone wisely said, “You can’t stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop it from building a nest in your hair.” In other words, thoughts go through your brain, but you don’t have to give them a place in your mind. A thought comes and part of you likes it, but you choose not to go along with it, and you focus on something else. God judges based on your will (Jeremiah 17:10) and knows you are making the right choice!
2. Feelings are not your identity.
Some people call themselves “gay/lesbian” simply because of their feelings, even if they don’t act on them. Some people just wonder if that’s what they are.
Feeling tempted to steal does not make you a thief if you never give in, and feeling tempted to drink does not make you a drunk if you never give in.
Your identity and value come from being created in the image of God — as we all are (Genesis 1:27, 9:6).
3. Don’t lose hope for overcoming it.
Some people have had their feelings change over time. It’s not instant, but there are techniques people use to change their feelings. It’s the way the brain works, replacing old thoughts with new ones.
One thing to keep in mind is that when you’re struggling with same sex attraction, you don’t have to create opposite sex attraction (especially if your temptation is sexual, don’t go there). Focus on your relationship with God most of all!
If you want to get married, you can get to know someone (opposite gender) and you’ll naturally grow emotionally attached. It’s the way we’re made for close relationships. Then once you’re married, you can be intentional about being attracted to your spouse in every way.
The bottom line is we do have control over our thoughts. Feelings are more elusive but even those can be controlled over time.
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