Is It Okay to Separate from Your Spouse?

 

 

An understanding of God's mercy toward us motivates us to forgive others (Ephesians 4:32). We should seek to be at peace with others, especially fellow believers (Ephesians 4:3; Hebrews 12:14). However, it does not mean that one is required to remain in a position of being abused.

One level of forgiveness is the desire for the offending person to be forgiven, with the absence of hatred or desire for revenge. Jesus exemplified this when He prayed, "Father, forgive them" (Luke 23:34). God has no pleasure in seeing anyone lost (Ezekiel 18:32; 1 Timothy 2:4; 2 Peter 3:9), and we are called to be merciful as He is merciful (Luke 6:36). In this sense of forgiveness, it is possible to let go of an offense without direct communication, although genuine love leads to confrontation and restoration.

As it relates to marriage, separation is usually not God's will (Matthew 19:6; 1 Corinthians 7:10-11). Depending on interpretations of certain Scriptures, there may be exceptions, including adultery (Matthew 19:9). There are general principles of freedom to leave situations involving abuse (Exodus 21:26-27) or neglect (Exodus 21:11) which may also apply to marriage, considering God's compassion for the oppressed. In some cases it may be necessary to report to authorities, which are ordained by God for punishment of crime (1 Peter 2:14). However, under normal circumstances, it is God's will to remain in a marriage rather than separating.

Whenever we are uncertain of the best action to take, it is important to seek God's will in prayer, asking Him for wisdom and guidance (James 1:5; Proverbs 3:5-6).